


queen of peace

by izzieee



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, References to Depression, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzieee/pseuds/izzieee
Summary: "The queen of peace always does her best to please. Is it any use? Somebody's gotta lose."
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hyuuga Hinata & Hyuuga Neji
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71





	queen of peace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blknaruto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blknaruto/gifts).



> my friend zig was the one who gave me this idea, especially the bond between hinata and gai that unfortunately don't exist in the manga. 
> 
> update: i kinda gave up on making this a series, at least for now :/ sorry

"Hinata-sama." His voice was like iron. Something heavy and cold. But somehow it brought her joy. Just being around him again made her happy.

"Yes, Neji-nee-san?" Hinata stared back at him, noticing a certain lightness in her cousin. His posture was the same, his expression and body language as well. But she could see it in his eyes.

"Would you like to train with my team today?" She noticed the way his eyes drifted to the horizon and his hands slowly clenched into fists.

Hinata was glad they were talking, spending time together out of will and not obligation, but she felt the heavy air between them. The division between children who knew little about their own destiny and children who grew up to guess. Hinata could never blame Neji for anything. She knew that nothing about her life was fair. She was privileged in ways that she didn't deserve. While Neji deserved so much more. And as much as she couldn't do anything meaningful to change their situation, she knew she was to blame. She knew her father was right about her. She wasn't good enough for the main branch. She wasn't a good enough heiress. She wasn't even a good ninja. She was hardly a remarkable person.

Hinata was _empty_.

"I-if it's not going to bother you, Neji-nii-san, then...yes, I would like that. Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Lady Hinata."

And yet, her heart could break.

[...]

"Another young ninja to increase the joint power of youth!" Hinata allowed herself a small smile at Lee's enthusiasm.

She liked her cousin's team. Lee was far more outgoing, spontaneous and authentic than she ever would be, and somehow he made her more comfortable than most of the rookies.

Tenten was quiet in a different way than Neji. She was a little warmer, a little less withdrawn. She liked to smile and Hinata found herself always answering, even hating her own smile.

"Oh, today we have Neji's little sister here to train with us!" Hinata was a little startled by Gai sensei's sudden appearance, but as soon as she recovered, she bowed and thanked him for welcoming her. "So much formality! We're among friends!" His smile was so big and genuine it made Hinata's heart ache a little. She saw few smiles like that.

"She always does that." Neji answered in a bored tone. "And she is not my sister."

Hinata's eyes darted to the floor and her hands gripped the fabric of her big hoodie.

"You're Neji's cousin, aren't you?" Tenten asked, elbowing Hinata lightly. The smaller girl stood out a little, but soon recovered, nodding. "Say, what does he do to make his hair shine so bright? Is he grouchy like that at home? Does he run away from your hugs too-"

"Tenten." Neji's tone was the same as he used with Hinata when she missed a sequence of blows. Tenten just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, what do you guys think about starting out with taijutsu training?" Gai-sensei suggested, clapping his hands together.

"We always start with taijutsu." Neji whispered, factually. Only Hinata seemed to have heard, but he did not appear to have told anyone in particular.

"Let's start with duos; Lee with Tenten, and Neji, stay with your sister."

"Cousin." He corrects again, turning to Hinata, then taking a few steps back and assuming position. Both were waiting for Gai-sensei's commands. Neji seemed centered, his gaze giving nothing but focus on the present situation, and not for the first time, Hinata envied him for the ability to clear his mind that way. Hinata never had that control. Maybe that's why she was...her.

Her anxiety never left her. Her discomfort, her rushing thoughts, her inability to lie and be anything but honest, her body that seemed trained to submit and bend - and in a way, it was.

The irony that in all her weakness and incapacity, she had been born in the main branch, and Neji, who was to her as something divine, in the lower branch, had never gone unnoticed. She could never understand how the clan tradition could speak louder than the facts.

Gai gave the command, and her thoughts buried deep in her mind where they usually stayed.

[...]

After the training, which was surprisingly mild compared to what she was used to - she hadn't even bled or had serious bruising - Gai-sensei started buying everyone ice cream, which made Hinata extremely uncomfortable and made her promise to pay him back, which he said was not necessary.

Tenten and Lee argued sitting under a tree, but not in a hostile way, but in a way that reminded her a bit of how Naruto argued with Shikamaru and Choji, or how Kiba sometimes argued with Shino, or Sakura with Ino. The words promised a pain that would not come. They carried a familiarity, not an affront. Tenten said Lee was "a clown" in a way that everyone could understand that this was not necessarily bad, but only stressed her at the moment. Hinata couldn't imagine calling someone that. Or at least, not without getting punished later.

"It's getting late." Neji commented beside her, looking up at the sky. Hinata nodded quietly, clasping her hands and playing with her fingers. She loved Neji a lot. She had admired him since she could remember. But she still felt uncomfortable around him. It made sense, she thought, since he had nearly killed her.

Her gaze shifted to Gai-sensei, who had already finished his ice cream and now seemed intrigued by the flowers of the Yamanaka flowershop. Hinata could see that Ino was busy, attending to some customers inside the store.

He kept one finger under his chin, his other hand on his waist in a thoughtful posture. Hinata watched the curious scene until the pieces fit together.

_He was choosing flowers to Kakashi._

She didn't know if anyone else knew about their relationship. She noticed not because they told her, or because they announced to people or because she was eavesdropping. She noticed because she knew the look in their eyes, the softness in their voice, the strength that seemed to come out of them in each other's presence. Hinata has know solitude ever since her mother died, so she learned to be perceptive and to think things through. Hinata has been in love ever since she was four, so she also knew how to tell when someone was in love. 

Hinata was not a brave person. At least it was what her father said. In fact, what everyone, save her team, said. She had no backbone.

But in some rare moments she would ignite as quickly as fire is created. One minute she was the figure that passes at the corner of the eye, the next she was the loudest song that could be heard. Like when she faced Neji and when she encouraged Naruto to win his fight.

These were acts and words that went unnoticed by most ninjas, who were used to seeing courage in great battles. But for Hinata, who knew very well how quickly a body gets used to blows and survives, facing what hurt her inside was much scarier. No byagukan could see and treat that kind of thing.

"Neji-nee-san." Her cousin turned to her but she was leaving his side. "Excuse me."

Her body understood her fear, but she couldn't process it herself. Why was she so afraid to talk to people? What's the worst it could happen? Why did negative words weighted more than punches? She was used to both of them; but her body healed, her mind didn't. 

She walked over to Gai-sensei in the stillness she was used to when she left her room at dawn to eat on the days her father deprived her of food as punishment. She reasoned with herself: Gai-sensei was good. He was nice. He had treated her well. The worst that could happen would be for him to ignore her or deny her help. He would not raise his hand, or worse; his voice.

However, reason never wins with her. Her heart was beating like crazy and she felt like a defenseless and fragile rabbit. She crushed her fingers to focus on anything other than her own anxiety.

"Oh, you like flowers too, I suppose?" Gai's voice startled her. She was looking so straight at the floor that she didn't realize she was right beside him already.

"Y-yes, Gai-sensei." It was true. She used to count all the flowers in the Hyuga gardens and note the differences between them when she was younger. When she grew up and had access to the library, she studied it's structures, pigments and meanings. She later learned that this was not considered a very useful knowledge.

"What are your favorites?" He grinned again, and she remembered Naruto and how he used to smile all the time. She felt her face burn a little at the memory of her colleague.

"I...I think s-sunflowers are my favorites."

"Hmm. A good choice. They are quite colorful. They represent well the power of youth." The last sentence was spoken with greater enthusiasm and Hinata couldn't help but smile, staring at her feet.

She took a deep breath and counted to five, planning and organizing her next speech, and preparing what she would say next, depending on the answer.

"S-sensei, I think you should, uh...Get the Sakurasou flower. T-they mean everlasting love. And it can...They usually are given to...Lovers." She let out her breath and her face was burning. He didn't respond to her right away, and the seconds felt like hours. She was beginning to shake when she heard his voice. 

"You are a pretty smart girl, Hinata-sama." He was smiling again, even if he was a little red, too. Then he began laughing, and it was a little awkward. Hinata noticed he was embarrassed and she started to feel bad.

"I'm r-really sorry. If I-I-I..." She struggled to get the phrase out and her eyes were watery.

"It's a great idea! I was really struggling with what to get. They all look pretty, don't they?" He pointed to the flowers. He turned to her, seemingly not noticing her tearful face, and petted her hair. She was a little choked by the contact and when he entered the shop she felt like her head burned. She wiped her face and touched her hair, still a little stunned by someone touching her so...gently. As in a thankful gesture. It was heartwarming, bittersweet and scary all at once. 

She knew her reaction was strange. She knew being afraid of asking a question was strange. She remembered Naruto telling her he thought she was weird. But he did say he liked people like her. Maybe Gai did too. Like her team did. 

Maybe weird, dark, gloomy Hinata was capable of gaining sympathy. Maybe it was something she even deserved, a little.

"There we go!" Gai came out of the shop with a huge bouquet and that same shining expression on his face. He then gently took out a flower hidden between the bouquet and his arm, and pointed at her direction. "One for the bright girl." 

It took her a minute to realize he was giving it to her. 

She never gained flowers before. She rarely received gifts that weren't weapons or clothes. Nothing that was particularly her taste. She didn't receive nice things. 

But she did. 

"Thank you, Gai-sensei." She didn't stutter. She didn't shake. She didn't cry. 

She was fixated on the sunflower that shined in her hands. 


End file.
